"When the wind of chaos shakes your trees branches, always remember your roots".....drunk AF quotes from meeeeeeeeeeeeeee


...2017 GOALS...that and FUCK IT UP in PARIS FRANCE LOLZZZ and maybe Japan and kick it and hand out my art brain farts...we will see...no regrets...and no fucking promises......2016 can eat a bag of dicks!!!!!

Alriiiight here's some shit coming from my deeply mournful heartbroken abyss of my hole in my heart...brace yourself for the FUCKED UP just saying avert your eyes form this somewhat drunkin' AMERICAN/IRISH/RUSSIAN/GERMAN BITCH post...It is about CANCER fuck this disease in ALL OF IT'S FORMS....it's robbed me of my mother to where it HAS left a literal/proverbial HOLE in my HEART...and others...but it seems as evil self inflicted disease as it sometimes seems(due to it's genetic mal formation of our own cells that attack our our body bits)...it is of all of it's holistic EVIL as it is  SELF INFLICTED...weather it be to much smoking...to much red meat...to much perfume/body wash in the vajayjay(site lawsuit of Shower to shower lawsuit of the use of shower to shower use in the vaj area).

PRETTY FUCKED UP SO MANY levels...like I envy people with their old infirm somewhat disabled mothers in wheelchairs type of shit... like why can't my my mom be wheeled around in a wheelchair type of shit FUCK THEM...it is painful my mother laid in her FUCKING death bed with her torso full of SEVEN FUCKING cancerous tumors...left behind because the original surgery left "LEAKAGE" when they surgically removed the original tumor...her cancer was so new it sent out a liquid/gel form then form the "cloud" that is the tumor that could not be treated by ANYTHING not radiation...not chemo because it was way to FAST...(picture heart breaking/exploding in my chest right now)...to the point when me and me and my brothers had to deal with the burial of my mother's body we wanted to take the amount of tumors out...JUST SOOOOOOO FUCKED UP!!!!!!


There is a but...a BIG old but to this.......


I watched Requiem for the american dream and I'm seriously thinking to myself the level the rich V. poor level the playing field type of shit is that fucking cunt CANCER and in it's many forms...I mean shit not even one of the founders of Apple computers couldn't defeat this BITCH that is cancer he's the richest fucker out there (oh I know beyond the papers BITCH!!!)....I mean what the fuck chances do we Proletariat and my mom have against it...maybe this is the disease that brings every class ranking to it's knees?  Now that the richey riches are affected? Will there be a fierce strive to actually identify it and all it's fucked up forms? And cure it? I've seen stories of "billionaires" making financial pledges to eradicate this disease...just seems bullshit...I've read stories of money makers losing their mother of their children...I mean what the fuck kind of chance did my mother have if these ingenuousness of businesses couldn't figure it out..... #FUCKCANCER for real on every money level... #RIPmom....OH yeah fuck you on mother's day! :)

August 2013...hope at that time....

October 2013...all is lost...RIP.... FUCK CANCER!!!

Listening to MIA into the New Year while I type this...don't set dumb ass goals because pop culture told you to...the most simple things can reveal the greatest results towards your happiness and really that's all you want is true CHILL happiness...whether it's the memories of beloved person that is no longer with you... to just chill...and the simple task of enriching your current mind set by learning something new...it's just how you and your's roll that's the resolution...the simple but profound...not the grandiose and pretentious...just saying HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!!!! 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh making my plush stuffs is relaxing and fun...I do it because I like doing it...not to make money...or be famous...just really like coming up with funky characters...and it's the quickest way to make my sketches three dimensional...and it's pretty cool to see grown folks grab one of my creations and you see it in their eyes like they are kids again :0)

Yeah I don't usually promote or advertise things on here...there is a but to this...Spoonflower this is a company that you can order custom printed fabric...it's amazerful...you make your own graphic/artwork/pattern and upload it...pick a type of fabric to print on...they use huge industrial printers exactly made for printing fabric...I ordered some fabric with some flies and a spider... pretty cool stuffs pics below...

OK this is my I apologize for my foul language on my blog....this is my place to say random things and participate in my free speech with a lil' crazy sprinkled in...a number of these posts are not really ready for all to read...and I accept that...I am no Voltaire...or Mother Teresa...again sorry aboot that ahead of time.

But if you want a good laugh or wtf then you have come to the right place...this is where I let my hair down and throw in a F' bomb here and there....it is the pursuit of the masculine and feminine duality that I aspire to achieve...with some BS thrown in for affect (in reference to the previous sentence).

So sit back and enjoy the ride. ;0)



I like to garden...

Lost my Mom and lost my mind...a little bit anyway...and wtf is with the "a brief illness" is it the politically correct term for cancer or heart attack or nicey nice term for dying...don't get that...

Anyways...I feel like a ship that lost it's shore just floating...my home base is no longer there...once annoying phone messages left by her to fix something or a doctor's appointment...now I crave to listen to her voice for these seemingly mundane things...just weird that I won't hear her say "my daughter made that" or the term "daughter" uttered from the lips of the female that made me ever again...and I was still hand making her Mother's Day cards well into my 30's...

Just thinking of her house and her garden...she had some talent for gardening just real pretty things...guess I might of picked up on her green thumb and sewing...always remembered her running around the house when we were little with a dress pattern pinned to her and how she could make her own clothes...she had gone to dress making school and got a job in it making pretty fabulous things...then meeting our Dad and moving stateside to start a family...

And she gave birth to what she had called us her "dinosaurs"....she was 5' 2" and all four of us were 6' and above...the little leprechaun that was my Mom dwarfed by here own kids heh...my friends that I've known since grade school remember her Irish accent and even made the joke about lucky charms leprechaun when they called the house...fun times...

But I feel time and good memories of her will fill that space that she has left since she has "shuffled off this mortal coil" to rejoin her mother and father...hopefully looking down on us beaming with pride when her "dinosaurs" continue to achieve great things...


That would be my three brothers and I to remember her by...and hopefully have a pretty bad ass bar crawl/memorial send off for her back in her home country of Ireland...it's just pretty weird that my youngest brother brought up something that my Mom had said awhile back that once her and Dad died that we only have each other...Family Forever